I looked back at my old posts and I guffawed. Oh, it's as though I'm looking at a person from a distance through a window decked with cloudy glass. I see lingering parts of me yet these very parts are so foreign.
I spend most of my life infatuated with something, -someone(s), even- but I didn't know how to love the most important person in my life- MYSELF.

It has been a month of university now and frankly, I don't feel much passion for it but I do know that I am very comfortable with the system. However, the level of prescription of work has decreased so suddenly that I feel almost lost. How am I to know if my assignments are done the 'right' way? I don't want to risk losing my voice in a critique/essay by sticking to the general structure too much but it's honestly frightening. The thought of getting a C or below, just because my structure is as seemingly disorderly as my thought processes, chips away at my intuition and self-confidence.

I love this major. I'm not just satisfied with my choices, I am steadfast in my resolve.

Yet... At the same time... I feel so alone. I have never felt the effects of loneliness negatively; it has always been a compatriot of mine, ironically. I walk into uni, completely disinterested in socializing, so lost in my thoughts, I nearly negated the sounds, the sights of the world around me. What am I doing? -_- I shouldn't be like this but lately, my brain has been stuck in a rut. Or more accurately, my awareness of the situations around me.

Wake me up, somebody. There must be a good reason left on this Earth for my heart and soul to return to it.
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